~Sometimes I feel like I'm beating a dead horse..because nobody understands..i'm searching for answers..but its never appear...~

Dead Horse lyrics

Sick of this life
Not that you'd care
I'm not the only one
With whom these feelings I share
 Nobody understands, quite why we're here
Searching for answers
That never appear
 But maybe if I looked real hard I'd
I'd see your trying too
To understand this life
That we're all going through
(Then when she said she was going to like wreck my car... I didn't know what to do)
 Sometimes I feel like I'm beating a dead horse
An I don't know why you'd be bringing me down
I'd like to think that our love's worth a tad more
It may sound funny but you'd think by now
I'd be smiling
I guess some things never change
Never change
 I met an old cowboy
I saw the look in his eyes
Something tells me he's been here before
'Cause experience makes you wise
I was only a small child
When the thought first came to me
That I'm a son of a gun and the gun of a son
 That brought back the devil in me
 Sometimes I feel like I'm beating a dead horse
An I don't know why you'd be bringing me down
I'd like to think that our love's worth a tad more
It may sound funny but you'd think by now
I'd be smiling
I guess some things never change
Never change
 I ain't quite what you'd call an old soul
Still wet behind the ears
I been around this track a couple o' times
But now the dust is starting to clear
Oh yeah!!!
 Sometimes I feel like I'm beating a dead horse
An I don't know why you'd be bringing me down
I'd like to think that our love's worth a tad more
It may sound funny but you'd think by now
I'd be smiling
Ooh yeah, I'd be smiling
No way I'd be smiling
Ooh smiling
 Sick of this life
Not that you'd care
I'm not the only one
With whom these feelings I share

~H.S.C.H.A~

aisitheru..

Menunggu sesuatu yang sangat menyebalkan bagiku

Saat ku harus bersabar dan trus bersabar
Menantikan kehadiran dirimu

Entah sampai kapan aku harus menunggu

Sesuatu yang sangat sulit tuk ku jalani

Hidup dalam kesendirian sepi tanpamu

Kadang ku berpikir cari penggantimu

Saat kau jauh di sana

Walau raga kita terpisah jauh

Namun hati kita selalu dekat

Bila kau rindu pejamkan matamu

Dan rasakan a a a aku

Kekuatan cinta kita takkan pernah rapuh

Terhapus ruang dan waktu

Percayakan kesetiaan ini

Pada ketulusan a a ai aishiteru

Gelisah sesaat saja tiada kabarmu ku curiga

Entah penantianku takkan sia-sia

Dan berikan satu jawaban pasti

Entah sampai kapan aku harus bertahan
Saat kau jauh di sana rasa cemburu
Merasuk ke dalam pikiranku melayang

Tak tentu arah tentang dirimu

Apakah sama yang kau rasakan

Walau raga kita terpisah jauh

Namun hati kita selalu dekat

Bila kau rindu pejamkan matamu

Dan rasakan a a a aku

Kekuatan cinta kita takkan pernah rapuh

Terhapus ruang dan waktu

Percayakan kesetiaan ini

Pada ketulusan a a ai aishiteru

Saatku sendiri pikiran melayang terbang
Perasaan resah gelisah
Jalani kenyataan hidup tanpa gairah
Oo.. uoo.. lupakan segala obsesi dan ambisimu
Akhiri semuanya cukup sampai di sini
Dan buktikan pengorbanan cintamu untukku
Ku mohon kau kembali....

Kimita tuokukitemo
Kiminoi shuaguaratala
Shiniteruyo shiniteruyo

Wo wo wo.. a a ai aishiteru....

~H.S.C.H.A~

Why Do We Fail??

......Many times I read rules on Success.  That is right–better talk winning than losing.  But there is an oracle on failure which young people who are about to launch out into the world will do well to heed.  Here are 10 everyday and easily understood reasons for the failures of many young people to win out in the varied forms of making a living:

1. Carelessness relative to details.
2. Tardiness
3. Fear
4. Big I am
5. Evil Habits
6. Unwillingness to take advice
7. Too dependent on advice
8. No Self-mastery
9. Scatter-brained approach to work
10. Lack of courtesy                                                                                                                                                         Here's a few quotes about failure to help us to keep on, keeping on......

• Fear of failure must never be a reason not to try something. -Frederick Smith
• Success builds character, failure reveals it. -Dave Checkett
• A man may fall many times, but he won’t be a failure until he says that someone pushed him. -Elmer G. Letterman
• We seem to gain wisdom more readily through our failures than through our successes.  We always think of failure as the antithesis of success, but it isn’t.  Success often lies just on the other side of failure. -Leo F. Buscaqlia
• Failure is not a single, cataclysmic event.  You don’t fail overnight.  Instead, failure is a few errors in judgement, repeated every day. -Jim Rohn
• Ambition is the last refuge of failure. -Oscar Wilde
• If you’re doing your best, you won’t have any time to worry about failure. -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
• Failure is an event, never a person. -William D. Brown
• One must be a good to be able to tell success from failures without making a mistake. -Anton Pavlovich
• Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat. -F. Scott Fitzgerald
• There are defeats more triumphant than victories. -Michel de Montaigne
• You always pass failure on your way to success. -Mickey Rooney
• Nothing fails like success because we don’t Learn from it.  We learn only from failure. -Kenneth Boudling
• Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm. -Sir Winston Churchill
• The only time you don’t fail is the last time you try anything – and it works. -William Strong
• Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be. -John Wooden
• You cannot climb the ladder of success dressed in the costume of failure. -Zig Ziglar

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Try again...Fail again....Fail better....Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the Mind  of another. There is no failure....Only feedback..." -Hilton Sarun

I Love all of these, so many of us are so afraid of failure we get easily deterred..These ones on failure are so good..I Love them....

Don’t Be A Knocker

knocking is one of the easiest things in the world to do. It only takes a thimblefull of brains. And it is the cheapest and easiest way to attract attention. But it is a mighty expensive amusement. Everybody hates a knocker...

No man ever got very high by pulling other people down.  The intelligent merchant does not knock his competitors.  The sensible worker does not knock those who work with him.  Don’t knock your friends.  Don’t knock your enemies.  Don’t knock yourself.

Don’t say cutting things.  Speak pleasantly of everybody whether you are pleasantly disposed or not.  Boost and you will be boosted.  

Knock and you will be knocked!!!


Well.. what i think is; the reason of people knock other because it makes them feel superior; when in fact any wise person can see right through them. Any person who laughs at someone being put down is just as bad as the person doing it. You will gain greater respect if you treat people with kindness and consideration. If you are as great as you think you are, you don't have to shout it by knocking other people. People who are great in fact are well known and respected, they are the humble ones the quiet achievers...
Have a lovely day...Goodnight...

why??

hr ni hr yg sgt2 tak best..
            hanya sedikit perkara baik berlaku...
cuma ni je perkara baik-result hosp negatif..ujian imbasan kali ke-3 menunjukkn aku free from brain cancer.THANKS GOD..(..time aku dpt 1st diagnosis doktor ckp aku ketegori kenser otak tahap 2,trus kici tu kpla doktor aku nmpak..mcm aku mau picit seja kasi pecah..gila!!) headache dan drh beku tu bkn puncanya..cuma bleeding disorder..pendarahan di bwh kulit..Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura-ITP..mungkin juga kesan sampingan drpd kemalangan bulan lepas..lg pula aku masih on warfarin..dos yg di bagi pn bkn alang2..kalau org lain mkn kompom xsmpai 1 mlm dah kering darah..hik3..aku agak heran kenapa masa kemalangan tu aku x cedera langsung..dah berminggu baru ada komplikasi..sakit seluruh badan la..tulang2 semua sakit la..tu x msuk lg skt kpala,bleeding dn paling aku tak suka..tak dpt tido!!!..huhu..kalau aku "jalan" terus masa tu kan bagus juga..selesai semua masalah..huhu..bknnya aku takut pn..cuma aku x mahu..hik3..

             perkara buruk-nenek di kampung sakit tenat..kini di tahan dlm ICU quenn E..hrp2 la xda prkra lebih buruk trjd..aku jauh di sini cuma dapat menadah tangan mohon doa agar nenek cepat sembuh.dah lama rasanya tak jumpa nenek..seingat aku dlm tempoh 10 tahun ni hanya 2 kali aku brjumpa dgn nenek..tu pn masa pakcik meninggal dan masa my sis kawin (kini dah 4 org anak)..sedih kan?...hemmnn..mcm2 perasaan yg aku rasa..sakit..marah..tekanan ini boleh bt aku hilang sabar..huh!.xmungkin..aku kena kuat..ni semua adalah ujian untuk aku...
         
            emmmn..sedikit perkara baik (bagi aku la..'my medicine')-baru je td aku nampak 'DIA'.tu pn ketika on9...'DIA' yg setiap hari ku rindui..tapi aku rasa serba salah sama ada nk tegur 'Dia' atau x..kalau aku tegur,aku dah langgar janji aku...aku xtau sampai bila aku dpt bertahan pegang janji aku ni..relation ktaorg ni mmg gila2 bah..ssh org lain nk fhm..dn hanya kami yg fhm..hihi..aku terima 'denda' yg 'Dia' bg kt aku..sbb aku mmg salah pn..ya..aku mengaku..aku mmg bersalah terhadapnya..dan aku nk tebus semuanya selagi masih ada kesempatan..(mudah2an Tuhan bagi umur yg panjang)...suatu hari nt 'Dia' pasti dapat maafkn aku..ya,aku pasti seyakin dan pasti..(eh?..ingt pla mcm lirik lagu awie..hik2)..

           huarrrghhh..ngantuk la pulak..keja masih bertimbun x siap lg..tp otak kena rehat juga..k la..selamat malam semua..bye..

~H.S.C.H.A~

Silap Bahasa Jadi Bencana

hoho...selamat malam semua..
        kali ni aku nk bt entri yg mudah.Aku nk ckp psl 'ckp tak fikir','ckp ikut sedap' dan 'ckp boleh msuk perangkap'..dah byk kali aku baca dlm surat khbr dn majalah serta dgr dari radio/tv org guna istilah "pasangan"(bhs melayu)atau "partner"(bhs inggeris) dlm konteks yg buat aku rasa geli..hehe..Baru2 ni aku ada baca penerangan gambar dalam sebuah akhbar inggeris.Dlm gambar tu,ada 2 org lelaki Melayu yg sgt kacak dn 2 wanita yg sgt cun..1 diperkenal sbgi suami isteri.Tak apa la sbb ramai tahu mrk baru berkahwin.Tp kalau suami isteri,bagi tahu la suami isteri..lagi2 la kalau Muslim.Yg 1 lagi diperkenal sbgi 'pasangan'..jd aku tertanya2,'pasangan' apa??..dah tentu bkn pasangan suami isteri..kalau pasangan suami isteri,tentulah ditulis pasangan suami isteri..btl tak?.Jd pasangan apa??pasangan tunang?pasangan kekasih?pasangan kasual?..mesti pasangan sesuatu..kalau bkn,tentulah tak di sebut 'pasangan'..
         Huhu..bkn la aku nk tunjuk baik.Jauh sekali.Tp daripada aspek semantik,istilah "pasangan" tidak lah boleh diguna sewenang-wenangnya bila kita merujuk kepada 'pasangan' Muslim, amnya di khalayak ramai.Tak apalah kalau itu tak teruk atau tak memeranjatkan pembaca..Tp apa pula kata istilah 'Pasangan'(partner) diguna kepada 2 org lelaki,di Malaysia dan di khalayak ramai?..istilah 'partner' di Malaysia merujuk kepada  2 org lelaki yg berkongsi perniagaan.Bkn 'business partner'(rakan kongsi perniagaan),tetapi hnya 'partner' (pasangan)...ni yg bt aku tertanya2..ada apa2 kah di antara mrk?..
Kalau di Barat aku tak heran la (lngsung tak heran pn)..kalau di sana,lelaki boleh ada pasangan lelaki dan perempuan boleh ada pasangan perempuan secara terbuka..cthny mcm komposer dn penyanyi Elton John dgn pasangan dia,David Furnish, pereka fesyen Domineca Dolce dan Stefeno Gabbana yg terkenal dgn jenama mrk Dolce&Gabbana dan bagi perempuan pula mcm pelawak Ellen DeGeneres dgn pelakon Portia De Rossi..Malah pada 2009,Johanna Siguradardottir yg di lantik menjd Perdana Menteri Iceland adlh pemimpin wanita pertama dunia yg secara terbuka mengaku dia lesbian..(sebagai rakan seks)..ish..ish..ish..
Bkn setakat nak jd pasangan je,nk kawin pn boleh..semakin byk Negara Barat yg benarkan prkahwinan sejenis..Bukan kawin lari atau kawin diam2,tapi kawin dlm Gereja,di daftar dn dibuat majlis besar2..Cerita lelaki dan perempuan berpasangan tanpa nikah sampai dpt anak cucu dh jd perkara biasa di Barat..Pasangan tanpa nikah beranak pinak yg terkenal adlh pelakon William Bradley @'Brad Pitt' dgn Angelina Jolie Voight..tp org Barat ni pelik sikit (sbnrny pelik byk).lelaki kawin lelaki boleh..perempuan kawin perempuan boleh..lelaki dan perempuan beranak pinak tanpa nikah boleh..apa nk jd lar??
Tp kalau ada org mashyur,tak kira la org politik ke,org sukan atau org hiburan yg terbabit dgn salahlaku seks, mrk akan dikutuk habis2an..bagi org politik,ramai yg kena pecat atau dipaksa berhenti..tak kira la mrk terbabit dgn kes rogol,liwat,skandal (lelaki atau perempuan),kunjung rumah pelacuran,gangguan seksual,sms lucah atau mms gmbr bogel..
        Kalau di Amerika,ada Senator,Ahli Kongres,Presiden,calon Presiden,ketua pegawai eksekutif dan paderi yg dipecat dan dipaksa letak jawatan.Tak kurg juga yg diheret ke mahkamah dan disumbat dlm penjara.Tapi di Negara Barat (kebanyakkannya), liwat suka sama suka boleh pulak. tp liwat rogol atau liwat dgn org bwh umur kompom masuk jel.

       Bagi aku dalam hal2 perhubungan jantina ni,harap2 la ok?..kita jgn la sesuka hati je guna istilah "pasangan (partner)" atau apa2 istilah pn sbb boleh timbul syak wasangka dn fitnah..kita di Malaysia masih hormat agama,akhlak,adat resam dan kejadian alam,walaupn sudah ada golongan liberal yg mula menerima amalan mcm ni secara terbuka. Aku bkn la nk hukum atau hina sesiapa,tetapi hanya setakat nk ingatkn satu sama lain mengenai amalan agama dn tatasusila masyarakat kita..
       Dlm hal bahasa ni, kita kenalah mula guna semula bahasa Melayu (bhs Malaysia) dgn betul. Kita kena tahu, apa yg betul dlm bhs inggeris,tidak semestinya betul dlm bhsa kita..aku rasa sedih la sbb selepas lebih 50 tahun Negara merdeka,bhsa Melayu yg menjadi bhsa kebangsaan kita makin lemah,terabai dan dipersendakan..dah ramai Menteri, termasuk Melayu,terus ckp inggeris tanpa minta izin terlebih dahulu. Bhsa inggeris mrk pn bknnya bagus sangat..Tak cukup pn untuk menunjuk..Jadi tak heran la kalau bhsa Melayu yg sejati akan pupus suatu masa nanti..skrg ni pn dah ramai org2 muda tak boleh bercakap melayu dgn betul..psl tu la muncul pulak istilah "tak faham bahasa"..fikir-fikirkanlah...

“20 Heart Quotes”

Here are 20 quotes about “heart”.

1) The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. -Helen Keller

2) The heart has reasons which the reason cannot understand. -Blaise Pascal

3) All paths lead nowhere, so it is important to choose a path that has heart. -Carlos Castaneda

4) Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. -H. Jackson Brown

5) My strength is as the strength of ten because my heart is pure. -Lord Alfred Tennyson

6) The Mind never rules the heart, but just becomes its partner in crime. -Mignon McLaughlin

7) There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart’s desire. The other is to get it. -George Bernard Shaw

8 ) The only Business of the head in the world is to bow a ceaseless obeisance to the heart. -William Butler Yeats

9) Smile, it is the key that fits the lock of everybody’s heart. -Anthony D’ Angelo

10)  The thirst after happiness is never extinguished in the heart of a man. -Jacques Rousseau

11)  Nobody has ever measured, not even the poets, how much the heart can hold. -Zelda Fitzgerald

12)  There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. -John Andrew Holmes

13)  In full heart there is room for everything, and in an empty heart there is room for nothing. -Antonio Porchia

14)  Beware what you set your heart upon, for it shall surely be yours. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

15)  Find the seed at the bottom of your heart and bring forth a flower. -Shigenori Kameoka

16)  Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart. -Mevlana Rumi

17)  He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it. -James Allen

18)  If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it. -Jesse Jackson

19)  The heart is the first feature of working minds. -Frank Lloyd Wright

20)  A good heart is better than all the heads in the world. -Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton

There we're have it!

Which ones do you like the most?  Which ones jump out at you?

Hemmm..necessarily the quote,s #16 just jumped out and spoke to me!..That desire that has been put in every heart...recognizing it, working toward it and seeing it come to fruition is one of life's greatest triumph. There are few things rewarding to the soul than the realization of my heart desire....When my heart is full of God, everything i see in many persons, things, nature, cosmos, i see God in them...
Love of God is the only antidote for me..When i reading these, i find the above quotes awesome and inspiring to me. Especially "if my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, i know i can achieve it"...And i just want to say gratefully for the wonderful selection of inspirational quotes which always seem to arrive just when they are most needed. They often bring a smile and are always appreciated..These 20 wonderful quotes and its always brightens my days....emmmn..feel sleepy...just enaugh for today..bye...

~H.S.C.H.A~

Behind Blue Eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies

But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely...
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!..but i NOT blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

Discover l.i.m.p. say it....
No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

No one knows what its like...
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes....i'm NOT the BAD MAN GOOD MAN..the truth!..

But my dreams, they aren't as empty

~H.S.C.H.A~

~Un!nStructEd~

Uninstructed

“I am going to send you down to earth,”
Said God to me one day,
“I’m giving you what men call ‘birth’– 
Tonight you’ll start away; 
I want you there to live with men; 
Until I call you back again.”

I trembled as I heard him speak,
Yet I know that I must go;
I felt His hand upon my cheek, 
And wished that I might know –
Just what on earth would be my task,
And timidly I dared to ask.

“Tell me before I start away, 
What thou would have me do;
What message would you have me say?
When shall my work be through? 
That I may serve on earth, 
Tell me the purpose of my birth.”

God smiled at me and softly said:
“Oh,  you shall find your task.
I want you on life’s path to tread, 
So do not stay to ask.
Remember,  if your best you do, 
That I shall ask no more of you.”

How often, as my work I do, 
So commonplace and grim, 
I sit and sigh and wish I knew 
If I am pleasing Him.
I wonder if, with every test, 
I’ve truly tried to do my best.

"Just don’t take it deep into your heart. If you take something, you will most probably want to keep it. And you cannot retain anything"...

.....Someone once said to me that a strong attachment is the best way to stop developing oneself...but my life is a constant progress and movement and I should move on with my lives despite my problems and trials...To some it might be some fatal sickness, to others – a loss of a loved one. I know, it is very hard to get loose of someone who was very close to me... One has to live with all the  memories tearing the heart apart. However, when she is gone, I have to move on – because i know,it’s what she would wish for me...ooh GOD!..I really miss him..

H>S>C>H>A

Minta maaf la..kali ini aku tak dapat nak tolong....

panas!..panas!..panas!!!..headache mari lg!."kwn makan kwn"..berada di mana2 ja pn benda ni tetap berlaku..aku dah cuba nak elakkn benda ni spy tak berlaku lg.tapi kali ni dah betul2 melampau..kalau dulu aku tak kisah dan tak rasa rugi sikit pn apa2 yg kau buat terhadap aku..aku tak tau la setebal mcm apa muka ko yg tak reti langsung perasaan malu..kenapa la kau masih buat lg benda tak baik tu????...
kalau aku takde dah confirm ko tido dalam longkang tu..sekali buat takpe masih ble dimaafkn lg walau sukar nak maafkn ko..kedua kali ko buat,sampai berlutut ko minta ampun..aku still ble terima..tapi kali ni mmg dah tak ble la kawan..kawan???mcm tu ke kawan??..ok la aku maafkn ko..tapi aku terpaksa singkirkan ko dari rumah ni..selesai..napa tak puas hati???..mulai hari ni ko dipecat!!!..ko bkn sahaja dikeluarkan dari rumah ni,tapi disingkirkan dari group aku..aku tak mau gara2 ko seorang nama baik group aku rosak..dan 1 lagi...aku terpaksa buang ko dari kolej..aku rasa lebih baik ko balik kampung dan bantu mak ko sana..aku dah tak ble nak jaga ko kat sini..ini bkn keputusan aku.tapi ini la keputusan semua group..tu je...ok ko ble pergi sekarang!

p/s: kesalahan mencuri di dalam rumah(wang  tunai teman serumah rm 1500),rumah pelajar lain(wang tunai ratusan ringgit),wang warden asrama dan menipu pihak bank dengan membuat pengeluaran tunai tanpa kebenaran menggunakan kad ATM org lain..kes ini telah menjadi kes polis..betul2 menyakitkan kepala aku..kini sudah selesai..alahai..betul2 menguji kesabaran aku..hihi hampir aku lupa..aku sebenarnya tak ble marah..hihihi..

THIS TO SHALL PASS AWAY

This Too Shall Pass Away

When sorrows come into your life
And threaten to destroy
The very things you treasure most,
Your happiness and Joy;
And when that crushing power
Threatens everything worth while,
And clouds of darkness gather
And you find it hard to smile;
Then lift your head and let the world
Hear every word you say.
With faith undaunted say to them:
“This too, shall pass away.”

When you are over-burdened
With life’s toil and earthly care;
When life becomes so dreary
It seems more than you can bear;
When weariness o’ercomes you
And you yearn for peaceful rest,
And trials of the day leave you
Discouraged and depressed;
There is no song within your heart;
You feel you cannot pray;
Then turn your thoughts to gladness for
“This too, shall pass away.”

When fortune smiles upon you,
And your cup of joy is full;
When everything you want is yours,
And life seems wonderful;
When days and weeks go flitting by
With happiness replete;
And you desire nothing more
To make your life complete;
Beware lest all these treasures
Of this earth lead you astray,
And hear again these truthful words:
“This too, shall pass away.”

And so remember well these words,
Whate’er your lot may be,
For life is ever changing–
With such rapidity.
Our gladness turns to sadness
When the sunshine disappears,
And sorrows change to happiness
When God has calmed our fears.
Compared with all eternity,
This life is but one day.
We cling to life, and yet we know
“This too, shall pass away.”

...hemmmn...I think is a beautifully written poem..it touches upon every aspect of life that comes to be..but is noted that nothing ever remains forever even life on this earth takes one last breath and begins again in eternity..I'm worry and stress over so many things, what I need to do accept the things I cannot change..do my best with whatever I can to improve my existence,relax and enjoy what is, before long it will be just a Memory, gone forever.sometimes dreams go unnoticed because I'm too busy..emmm..time to take a moment to see what is beautiful on this earth because one day it will be all gone just like you and me..we're..we all...hope we have a wonderful day!...owh!!..my headache comes again..again..and again...huh!

".....kadang2 manusia ni terlalu berani..tapi mereka tak sedar......"

huhu...nak buat apa yek?..bosan tul!..
puas menghadap buku..layan FB pn takde mood..dah la sakit kepala..makin menjadi2 pulak..ni suma gara2 kna hujan ptg td..bas pn lambat dtg huhaiiiii...layan je la keinginan kepala ni...
entri apa aku nak bt kali ni yek?...emmbah..aku story la 1 ceta..sebuah kisah benar..ttg aku..bkn org lain..aku adalah aku..ops!.juga melibatkan org lain..tapi bukan aku yg melibatkan 'mereka'..aku cuma terlibat..dan jgn binggung2..aku mmg sdg binggung..sungguh membinggungkan..huhu..apapn,supaya korg tak boring membaca kisah aku ni, korg klik la benda kat bwh ni....

dah klik ke??...best kn lagu ni..hik3..
ok la....begini cetanya...walaupn tgh sakit kepala,aku akn perah otak aku untuk mengingati sumanya..ini la apa yg aku ingat...27 MEI 2011..baru je berlaku..13 hari yg lepas..seminggu selepas balik bercuti di kampung iaitu hampir 2 minggu yg lepas..hari tu hari jumaat..perasaan aku mcm tak sedap je..tak sedap hati. tapi aku kena  bangun awal kerana ada appointment dekat hospital Ampang..aku berseorangan turun dari apartment seawal jam7 pagi..kalau kat cni(KL),waktu tu masih gelap.berbeza dgn keadaan waktu di Sabah..hujan renyai2 memaksa aku lepak kejap dekat restoran mamak dekat bawah..aku cuma minta air teh suam..aku lihat cuaca hujan dah reda sedikit aku meneruskan perjalanan menuju ke terminal KTM..dekat je..tak sampai 5minit dah sampai.aku terus membeli tiket menuju ke KL Sentral..setengah jam kemudian aku sudah berada di Sentral..terus naik ke tingkat atas untuk membeli tiket teksi..kemudian aku terus mendapatkan teksi....

dan di sini lah semuanya bermula...
aku sebenarnya boring time tu.nsb baik kena dgn driver yg peramah dan byk ceta..sambil bergerak tu kami berdua bersembang dalam teksi..hujan dekat luar pulak makin lebat..sampaikan jalanraya pn hampir tak nampak..byk sangat keta laju yg saling potong-memotong..biasa la tu nak pergi ke tempat kerja la katakan..pak cik driver tu asyik mengomel ttg pemandu2 yg membawa keta dgn laju.aku duduk diam je kdg2 sekadar angguk kepala mengiyakn kata2nya..apabila sampai pada 1 simpang 4,lampu trafik tak berapa jelas..tapi pak cik driver tu masih mengomel.."kdg2 manusia ni terlalu berani..tapi mereka tak sedar.."..tiba2..dummb!!..aku hanya sempat nampak 1 benda besar terbang melepasi teksi yg aku naiki..aku tak sedar berapa kali teksi tu tunggang terbalik sebelum tersandar pada tembok di tepi jalan...
dlm keadaan separuh sedar aku bertanya pada pak cik tu.."pak cik..pak cik tak apa2 ke?"..tak ada jawapan..aku cuma dapat mendengar hembusan nafas dan pak cik tu sempat mengucap..dan aku dah tau pak cik tu dah menghembuskan nafasnya..mati..aku cuba untuk bergerak tapi tak dapat kerana tersepit dengan atap teksi tu..aku cuba gerakkn kaki juga tak dapat..teksi tu terlalu sempit.mcm kotak yg direnyuk dan dibuang kedalam tong sampah..

hujan masih lebat..aku rasa badan aku terlalu panas..serpihan cermin memenuhi pakaian aku..dalam fikiran aku mungkin teksi tu akan meletup kerana bau minyak petrol yg kuat..
tiba2 aku sangat marah..marah yg amat sangat..kerana kesalahan org lain aku jadi begini..aku tak mau mati dgn cara ni..begitu la perasaan aku masa tu..bau petrol semakin kuat dan aku hampir sesak nafas..aku bersabar dgn menutup mata..dan ramai org dekat luar menjerit dan aku dapat rasakan teksi tu bergerak..org ramai berusaha mengeluarkan aku dari teksi tu..tetapi antara percaya dgn tidak,aku sedikit pn tak merasa sakit..aku pengsan..tapi aku tak rasa mcm pengsan pun..dan inilah KEAJAIBAN yg berlaku pada aku sekali lagi..'ANGEL'...'ANGEL' yg sama menemani aku waktu sakit tenat dahulu..ya..mmg 'DIA'..wajah yg sama..
"bangun lah..kau takkan apa2..dunia ni takkan dapat membunuh kau"..lalu 'DIA' tersenyum dan perlahan2 menghilang dari pandangan aku..aku hendak bersuara tapi mulut aku bagai dikunci..aku faham kata2nya..mungkin Tuhan blm mahu aku mati..

tiba2 aku rasa badan aku ringan..bayangkan hujan yg begitu lebat pn tak dapat membasahi tubuh aku..aku dalam keadaan kering..aku hanya sedar ketika berada di dalam keta ambulan..sampai hospital aku di masukkan ke dalam bilik kecemasan..lalu di suntik dan di sambung bekalan air..hati aku kembali panas..aku marah doktor yg merawat aku..aku beritahu yg aku ok.tak apa2..tapi mmg betul pun.aku tak apa2..semua org heran.bagaimana aku boleh hidup lg..kalau melihat keadaan teksi tu,tak mungkin ada yg terselamat..aku hanya katakan "yg tu aku pun tak dpt nak jawap"..walhal dalam otak aku,aku asyik memikirkan 'DIA'...'DIA yg telah menyelamatkan aku..aku sendiri pun sukar untuk percaya.....

Nsb baik waktu tu aku ada ternampak seorg doktor yg sgt2 aku kenal..doktor Jerome..doktor yg sama merawat aku dlu di hospital quenn..aku minta bantuan doktor tu supaya mengeluarkan aku dari bilik tu.aku katakan padanya aku nak berjumpa doktor pakar yg sepatutny merawat aku hari tu..katanya boleh tapi kena habiskan dlu air tu masuk dlm tubuh aku baru aku dibenarkan berjumpa dgn pakar..aku terpaksa ikut cakap dia...aku bknya apa..cuma mls dgn pertanyaan yg tak pandai putus2 dari pihak hosp dan pihak polis..rimas aku rasa..aku cuma berjanji dgn mereka nt dah ok sikit baru aku beri keterangan...sungguh tak terduga..pemandu keta yg melanggar teksi yg aku naiki juga mati di tempat kejadian..bukan tu sahaja yg mengejutkan aku..seorang budak berumur 7tahun juga terselamat tetapi cedera teruk..setelah menghabiskan air tsb aku terus mencabut hos dan dgn ditemani doktor Jerome,aku terus menuju ke bilik pakar yg sepatutnya aku jumpa..aku menceritakan kepadanya kejadian td..dah jd masalah pulak..aku kena setiap minggu datang untuk follow up treatment..apa ble buat..hemm..selepas selesai sesi rawatan dan diberi ubat,doktor Jerome lalu menghantar aku pulang..sampai di rumah,aku buat tak tau..mcm takde apa2 berlaku.kalau aku beritahu pn sukar utk dipercayai.jadi aku diamkn dari pengetahuan teman2 serumah..biar lah mereka tau sendiri..


Apa yg penting aku masih hidup..masih terlalu byk perkara yg blm aku selesaikan..mungkin Tuhan masih memberikan aku peluang untuk menyelesaikan suma mslh2 aku di dunia ni..cuma skg ni kepala aku pulak yg tak pandai berhenti sakit..ada sedikit kesan drp hentakan semasa kemalangan tu..ada darah membeku pada lapisan kulit kepala..nasib baik bukan otak..palis2..dari peristiwa ni aku dapat memperolehi pengajaran.pengajaran yg amat bermakna..cuma aku ni lain sikit..aku mengambil masa yg agak lama(berfikir) untuk berasa takut..aku tak takut mati..tapi aku amat takut dgn kehilangan....kehilangan org yg tersayang..kerana....'DIA' la yg melindungi aku daripada maut buat kedua kalinya..semangatnya membuatkan aku masih hidup...'DIA' la hidup aku....

I'm just an ordinary man..A man who believes that the world is good and everyone in this world is good as GOD made everything good..I believe in GOD,I believe there's always hope....Now, after all this happened, I'm started believe in miracles and I believe there's always gonna be better tomorrow...


Story from : 'THE SECRET OF HSCHA'